My son is NOT Adam Lanza

     It snowed today which meant all I wanted to do was sit on the couch, sip hot cider and read. While I wasn't able to do much of that during the day I did finally get the chance shortly before putting Sami to bed.I curled up with a warm blanket and my kindle while Sami watched his favorite before bed movie. I decided to waste the last few minutes before he goes to bed on facebook. Scrolling through, I notice that a SPD page I follow had shared an article that stated in bold letters "PLEASE DO NOT SHARE THIS ARTICLE". I saw a little blurb of what it was about and my heart started to beat faster. The one thing I have feared since December, Adam Lanza had sensory processing disorder.

     I opened the article and took a deep breathe as I started to read. Fear began to fill my mind and I began to run far too many thoughts through it at once.

 How many people have read this?

What are they thinking?

My son is not this man but how many think he could be?

What is this going to do to our community of SPD children?

What kind of publicity is this going to give us?

     Let me be clear, I know not every one will read that article and think badly of all SPD children. However I think back to so many times something horrible has happened in our society and immediately it turns to mental illness, race, religion, ect. Society often hates what they cannot understand and up until this moment, sensory processing disorder has been a silent illness.

     There are many in the community of sensory parents that have tried to spread awareness, myself included. We try to tell others and explain this neurological disorder however it has been mostly ignored. Now it will not be ignored. We're not going to be ignored anymore, but this is NOT the way any of us wanted for awareness to be spread.

      My son is my world, my whole world. The little boy I write about on this blog is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He makes me smile even when he's not smiling and even though I have to ask for every hug or kiss I receive, they are the best hugs and kisses in the world even if they last less than a second. My son rarely cuddle, nor does he appreciate being touched much. He is not the most social child on the planet and does revert into himself from time to time. Despite all this, my son brings joy to so many around him.

      Samual is not his disorder, just as any other sensory child or adult is not their disorder. Samual can become anything he wants, he can love anyone he wants and can do anything he wants. My son will be affected by many factors as he grows into a young man that have nothing to do with his disorder. He will be affected by the way his other parents and I raised him, by the way he is treated by peers, by the education he receives, by the events that occur in his life and many other factors. Samual is not his disorder, he is an accumulation of life events, love, friendships and so much more untold ventures along the way.

     Just as my son, is not his disorder, Adam Lanza was not his. I can not even begin to speculate who he was or why he did the horrible things he did, but I can be certain, his disorder did not cause him to act out in such a violent, tragic way in the same way that I am certain that my son is a wonderful joyful person.



   

We Live!

So it has been a hot minute since I have posted. We have had a ridiculously busy past few months and by some miracle everything is finally starting to slow down.

In October, Samual turned two, Jd turned 32 and a vast number of my family flocked to Oklahoma for our commitment ceremony. We were blessed to have my best friend join us and officiate the ceremony which was super exciting as we haven't seen him since Samual was 8 months old. We were also blessed to get to spend my sisters 21st birthday with her while she was here! Samual got to see many family members he hadn't seen in a long time and even though it was a little over stimulating, he did enjoy himself.

Samual at our ceremony

November was mostly a time to get ready for the holidays, clean up from October and Jd with lots of overtime and not much time at home. Ah the joy of working in retail during the holidays. Also in November, Samual's occupational therapist had her baby a whole month early! This did throw Samual off at first but he survived through it better than I thought he would. She and baby are both healthy and she is now back from maternity leave which I think makes Samual pretty happy.

Samual at the zoo. Putting his fingers in his ears is a sign he is over stimulated. 

December brought a multitude of busy and the beginning of the sick season. I got sick with bronchitis early on and Samual started to get terribly sick as well. He started to get a barking cough and it came on very quickly. Justin, N (Justins girlfriend) and I all rushed Samual to the hospital. He was diagnosed with croup and Samual was subjected to breathing treatments and an overnight stay at the hospital. I can honestly say that in this entire journey with Samual, that was the most helpless and defeated I have ever felt. About 2 weeks after being released, Samual was diagnosed with croup again but this time we were able to give him treatments at home.

December also happened to be a busy month of baby having in this family as Samual had 3 new baby cousins born in December. All 3 babies were born in different states within the same month so we haven't gotten to meet them all yet but Samual likes babies!

Christmas was wonderful and while Samual had some bumps in the road, he did love all the new toys. We tried our best to find him toys that would teach his purposeful play and I feel that we did fairly well. His occupational therapist is really pushing us to teach him purposeful play which will help him advance his imagination. To be honest I am still confused on all of this but it seems to be helping.

 He loved his play kitchen. We had it all set out for him to find in the morning. He was overjoyed. 

He has had some issues with wrapping paper in the past, we assume its a sensory issue so all his gifts came in bags this year. He loved opening each bag and finding something wonderful. 

A couple weeks ago, Samual had his evaluation for speech therapy. His therapist said he is making great strides in his social skills and has improved most in that skill. His speech itself is still very delayed as well as his language understanding, however his non verbal communication skills have improved a ton! He won't have an evaluation in Occupational therapy until late summer but his therapists agree that he is making improvements. The therapists and I have been discussing the right time to have Samual tested for Autism however I feel that a whole post in itself and I will post it fairly soon.

Samual saw a nutritionist last week to discuss his diet and what things may help him improve as well as getting him to eat a wide variety of foods. We started him on a multivitamin with Omega-3 and DHA and are trying to incorporate more healthy foods into his diet. So far I have been unable to incorporate the flax seed that was highly recommended but I am going to keep trying to find ways to add it in.

I am recommitting to updating this more often so there are less posts this long! For now, I will leave you with some favorite photos from the last few months.

 I just love this shot. 

 Our family Christmas Photo. 

 Samual and his best friend enjoy spaghetti-O's 

Samual and his best friend "O", exchanged Christmas gifts this year. It was quite adorable.